My friend Wes called the other day and reminded me of a recent story i'm sure most of you have heard by now,Hasbro has lost over 25 million customers and they desperately want them back,Here's the thing,.....nobody wants to play fucking 4th edition!As a gamer,I happen to know...other gamers,plenty of them!Can you guess how many regularly play 4th edition???Yeah,I can't think of a one either,oh they've tried it alright...and hated it with as much fervor as one could possibly produce that kind of hate for anything.More than a few even hate anything beyond 2nd,I guess that's why I constantly see multiple bids for older editions on ebay over anything Wizbro ever produced..that shit usually has about one or two bids if that,sometimes it sits on buy-it-now for months at a time.
In between soda,shoes and a coffee house beholder,what has Hasbro done to keep it's constituants?They robbed us blind,tried to convince us that our pastime was new and improved....same shit they said about new coke and look how that turned out!We live in an age of corporate greed,where the almighty dollar has a louder voice than the rest of us,and we are all victims to corporate business practice,what kind of fucking bullshit is this?D&D/AD&D was a thinking man's game,now the people who play are eight year olds who are playing with thier parents( who have never played anything beyond candyland.) and having a "blast",I say fuck you!I want my game back!
You want customers back too?Well guess what we're playing?And it ain't 4th edition!If you want to get your players back,here's what to do...first off,get rid of this 4E bullshit,sweep it under the fucking rug,burn down the house and bury the god forsaken ashes.Fire the current (90% bald) staff,then,to save face,take that stupid WotC logo off your products and pretend like you sold the brand to another company,who then changed the name back to TSR.Get rid of the shitty comic book Liefield art,re-hire the old staff ( the talented ones who are still living.)then compile all the old modules into an anthology series complete with original art,maps,ect.ect, and even if it we're a hundred volumes containing 300 pages each.it would be well worth the money spent.Then produce new modules in the same spirit as the old ones ( sans Lorraine Williams/Blumes period.) Stop shelling out chinese produced rubber miniatures and replace with the old pewter ones,you know for those big scarey adult type people? And viola,customers happy,no hard feelings,you make money we stay happy
It's not fucking hard,I understand that idiots are running the world right now,and it's tough for mongoloids to compete with that kind of logic,but look on the bright side,if it doesen't work out D&D could have potential as an action figures only game with no rules at all,just kids playin with them in a fucking septic tank mudhole in the backyard!
P.S No Hasbro,just because you imply it in your name, doesen't mean that we are bros!
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